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A Man Fully
Alive
A Focused Retreat for Busy Men
By Sister Antonella Bayer, CSJ
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Men can get so caught
up in life, as Patrick Morley states in his book, The Man in the
Mirror. If you have ever had that “out of control” feeling, this
brief, at-home reflection time is for you. What kind of man are you
to your family, to your work associates, to acquaintances and
strangers, to those in need, and to your God?
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Process
Day 1
Finding God in the Ordinary
Day 2
Making Time to Pray
Day 3
Letting in the Light
Day 4
Masking our True Selves
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Day 5
Relating in Love Day 6
Using Talents for Service
Day 7
Believing in God’s Purpose
Conclusion
Suggested
reading |
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Process:
1. Choose an
out-of-the-way room or outdoor spot where you will be alone for 15
minutes. Morning, afternoon, or evening will do.
2. Read one of
the following thoughts from various authors. Spend a few minutes of
quiet time looking into your heart to see how the words may apply to
you personally.
3. Be a person of
gratitude. Thank God for the little successes of today or yesterday.
What were they? Where did I miss opportunities to grow?
4. Make a
resolution to take one step forward today/tonight/tomorrow.
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Day 1
Finding God in the Ordinary
Thought for the Day
“Gospel accounts
of the Transfiguration indicate that Peter, James and John had a
dazzling vision of Jesus in His radiant glory and heard distinctly the
voice of God. Most of us do not have such direct encounters with
God.” Our discipleship does not require mountaintop visions or voices
from clouds. “We can sense God’s presence in the whisper of gentle
breezes as well as in dramatic situations. We can hear His voice,
even in silence.” --My Daily Visitor
Reflect:
Look for the
positive in your life. Where do you find the Holy in your place of
work? Where did you find God today at home or in the marketplace? Am
I listening? Do I pay attention when my soul is stirred to rest or do
good works?
Give thanks.
Make resolution. |
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Day 2
Making Time to Pray
Thought for the Day
“The
Jewish Kabbalah teaches that the Holy may speak to you from its many
hidden places at any time. The world may whisper in your ear, or the
spark of God in you may whisper in your heart.”
--Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D., My Grandfather’s Blessings
Reflect:
Sometimes we pray
amid distractions, either mental or physical, to which we readily give
our attention. Rather than praying out of duty, take a deep breath
and pray with your whole soul and mind with thoughts focused on your
Higher Power, the Holy, your God. Can you find or create a time and
place when you can actually be present to God?
Give thanks.
Make resolution.
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Day 3
Letting in the Light
Thought for the Day
The holy ones in the community, the
spiritual leaders, “were always the people with the keenest
sense of humor.”
--Sister Gloria Davis,
reflecting on her native Navajo tradition.
“Laughter can rout out our
fears…Laughter is a sound that has a universal wave length.”
--Patricia A. Livingston, Let in
the Light
Reflect:
Where am I in seeing the
incongruencies of life, the humorous situations, the “goofs” I make
as part of the human condition? Can I take or tell jokes?
Give thanks.
Make resolution.
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Day 4
Masking our True Selves
Thought for the Day
“We are hiding, every last one of us.
Well aware that we…are not what we are meant to be, desperately afraid
of exposure, terrified of being seen for what we are and are not…we
hide in our office, at the gym, behind the newspaper and mostly
behind our personality.”
--John Eldredge, Wild at Heart
Reflect:
When I look at myself in the mirror,
do I see what I put on or what I am? What masks do I
wear?
Offer your petitions to God right now.
Are you willing to accept God’s answer of “I have something better for
you”? Cheerfully give thanks for who you are and for the man you
hope to be, more fully alive. Remind yourself that God is present and
God listens.
Give thanks.
Make resolution.
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Day 5
Relating in Love
Thought for the Day Sometimes in a
relationship or in a marriage, a woman feels that a man is not there
for her emotionally. If she feels that he has abandoned her
relationally, even a little bit, her response may be to take charge in
order to protect herself from her disappointment with the man’s lack
of care and protection. In the Old Testament “God says that Adam’s
response to the woman’s attempts to control him will be to rule or
dominate her” (Genesis 3:16).
--Aubrey Malphurs, Biblical Manhood and
Womanhood
Reflect:
Where am I when
the women in my life need me? Is my deepest fear that I am
incompetent as a man? Read St. Paul’s message in 2 Corinthians
3:4-6. Confidence is possible to be the responsible leader in your
family. You can take responsibility for your relationships. Do I
love my wife, my children, my friends and family sacrificially?
Give thanks.
Make resolution.
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Day 6
Using Talents for Service
Thought for the Day
The world judges
a man’s worth by his accomplishments. “God determines your greatness
by how many people you serve, not how many people serve you…
To be like Jesus
is to be a servant….God shaped you for service, not for
self-centeredness. Without a servant’s heart, you will be tempted to
misuse your shape for personal gain. You will also be tempted to use
it as an excuse to exempt yourself from meeting some needs. God often
tests our hearts by asking us to serve in ways we’re not shaped.”
--Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven
Life
Reflect:
Some men fulfill
roles of vision and inspire hope that the goal is worth the process.
Some men “do the task” and/or give guidance to help others do so.
Have I made
myself available to serve? God deserves my best. How can I make the
best use of what God has given me? Paul told Timothy: “Be sure to use
the abilities God has given you…Put these abilities to work” (2 Cor.
10:13). Read also 2 Timothy 2:15.
Give thanks.
Make resolution.
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Day 7
Believing in God’s Purpose
Thought for the Day
“Your weaknesses
are not an accident. God deliberately allowed them in your life for
the purpose of demonstrating His power through you…The Bible is filled
with examples of how God loves to use imperfect, ordinary people to do
extraordinary things in spite of their weakness. If God only used
perfect people, nothing would ever get done because none of us is
flawless.”
--Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven
Life
Reflect:
Do I think of my
weakness as a limitation rather than a flaw? It may be physical,
emotional, or intellectual. Jesus promises: “I am with you always.”
My power shows up best in weak people” (2 Corinthians 12:9). How
can I help other people? Can I believe that my most effective ministry
will come out of my deepest hurts because I am more likely to be
compassionate toward the weaknesses of others?
Give thanks.
Make resolution.
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Conclusion:
Being a man in
the culture of today is no small challenge. Dr. Iverson M. Eicken of
Santa Monica, California, states that the demands are complicated and
often conflicting. Further, men are required to be strong and calm,
and at the same time they are asked to risk expressing feelings.
Research tells us that the result of the demands men face can be low
self esteem, heightened stress levels, depression and anxiety,
substance abuse, shame, decreased relationship satisfaction, and
struggles with intimacy. Seek a spiritual director, a psychologist or
counselor for help in dealing with your issues.
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Suggested
reading:
Psalm 39:14 and
Psalm119:19 We have only a brief time on this earth.
The Man in the Mirror by
Patrick Morley
Devotions for the Man in the
Mirror by Patrick Morley
The Silence of Adam:
Becoming Men of Courage in a World of Change,
by Dr. Larry Crabb
Every Man’s Battle: Winning
the War on Sexual Purity One Victory at a Time, By
Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker
Wild at Heart: Discovering
the Secret of a Man’s Soul,
by John Eldredge
Biblical Manhood and
Womanhood: Understanding Masculinity and Femininity from God’s
Perspective, by Aubrey
Malphurs
Let in the Light: Facing the
Hard Stuff with Hope, by
Patricia H. Livingston
The Purpose Driven Life:
What on Earth am I Here For?
by Rick Warren |